The Grace of Heartache

I am fresh out of an unexpected break-up with a man that I just knew was “the love of my life.”  I was so happy, so comfortable … it was beautiful.  Then, “shit happens” as they say … and I found myself once again single.  Aside from the incredible depth of sadness, I found myself feeling angry with the universe, without hope, and somewhat like a failure.  My big question was – How can I tell my kids?  I was certain they’d be disappointed in me.  However, this is not about me.  Nor is this my story … this is the story of us … of all of us … because there’s not one single human being on the planet that hasn’t suffered some form of heartache or loss.

Depression is the height of self-absorbtion.  If we for one minute take the focus off our “self” and shift it into supporting someone else … I wonder how that would make us feel.  I’m not saying avoid the lesson … or the feelings … but put them to good use. 

“As we sow so shall we reap” is so true.  I know that I feel better when I help someone else.  Often, it gives me insight into my own self and experience, and it takes me out of that crazy brain spin … takes me out of my “story.”  Because, really, all our experiences really are just stories we tell ourselves … 

When we get sad, go into recovery, or “survival mode,” we have a tendency to pull away from everyone and everything.  Hiding out from the very people, places, and things that can help us through.  We think only of our own heartache … not realizing there’s a billion people out there going through the exact same thing. 

I, too, am not immune to this.  I had to encourage myself to tell not only my absolutely closest friends, but also people in my community that I trusted truly cared for my ultimate well-being.  I asked for prayer, support, love … I asked if I was crazy, wrong, self-deluded … Sometimes, a kind and honest answer is the only way to face the truth.

Likewise, do not be ashamed of your emotions.  Let other people know … as long as you’re dealing with things as best you can, you’ll find people coming out of the woodwork to offer you love and support.  Be self-reliant, but also trust others to care for you when you it.

It’s all a part of being a member of the human tribe.  We help and support each other.   It’s the only way we can survive and thrive.

Blessings and peace …

(and, I’m recovering nicely … doing some journaling, allowing myself to experience the gauntlet of emotions, loving myself, and allowing myself to be loved … life is good … thanks for asking)

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