I am fresh out of an unexpected break-up with a man that I just knew was “the love of my life.” I was so happy, so comfortable … it was beautiful. Then, “shit happens” as they say … and I found myself once again single. Aside from the incredible depth of sadness, I found myself feeling angry with the universe, without hope, and somewhat like a failure. My big question was – How can I tell my kids? I was certain they’d be disappointed in me. However, this is not about me. Nor is this my story … this is the story of us … of all of us … because there’s not one single human being on the planet that hasn’t suffered some form of heartache or loss.
Depression is the height of self-absorbtion. If we for one minute take the focus off our “self” and shift it into supporting someone else … I wonder how that would make us feel. I’m not saying avoid the lesson … or the feelings … but put them to good use.
“As we sow so shall we reap” is so true. I know that I feel better when I help someone else. Often, it gives me insight into my own self and experience, and it takes me out of that crazy brain spin … takes me out of my “story.” Because, really, all our experiences really are just stories we tell ourselves …
When we get sad, go into recovery, or “survival mode,” we have a tendency to pull away from everyone and everything. Hiding out from the very people, places, and things that can help us through. We think only of our own heartache … not realizing there’s a billion people out there going through the exact same thing.
I, too, am not immune to this. I had to encourage myself to tell not only my absolutely closest friends, but also people in my community that I trusted truly cared for my ultimate well-being. I asked for prayer, support, love … I asked if I was crazy, wrong, self-deluded … Sometimes, a kind and honest answer is the only way to face the truth.
Likewise, do not be ashamed of your emotions. Let other people know … as long as you’re dealing with things as best you can, you’ll find people coming out of the woodwork to offer you love and support. Be self-reliant, but also trust others to care for you when you it.
It’s all a part of being a member of the human tribe. We help and support each other. It’s the only way we can survive and thrive.
Blessings and peace …
(and, I’m recovering nicely … doing some journaling, allowing myself to experience the gauntlet of emotions, loving myself, and allowing myself to be loved … life is good … thanks for asking)